The Male Privileges...

Heck, I'm glad to be male. I'm privileged! Yup, I'm so privileged. Feminists say so all the time! I was recently 'counting my blessings' as a male, and there's so many things that men are 'privileged' in - things in which we come out on top. I started compiling a list, just for those days when I'm feeling a bit down and need to check my privilege. Here's what I've found so far...

1) Men die around six years earlier than women on average. Until recently, women retired five years earlier.

2) The vast majority of workplace deaths - around 95% - are male. This is a privilege as men do the vast majority of the dirty/dangerous work which keeps feminists' - and indeed all women's - comfortable lifestyle functioning.

3) In law, men face rough justice. They are far more likely to be given custodial sentences than women and generally afforded much less consideration. Baroness Hale, feminist President of the Supreme Court has recently ordered that the gender-sentencing gap be widened even further. Paternal parenting rights? Well, usually you can forget it. You will be expected to pay through the nose though.

Baroness President Hale, President of the Supreme Court in the UK. A small minority of people in UK prisons are women, but Hale has ordered that even less women should be sent to prison. No such consideration for men, of course. I'm privileged that somebody I wouldn't trust to feed my male cat has been placed in such a high position.

4) In certain parts of England, a wolf whistle - or even an accusation of a wolf whistle - can see a man in trouble with the police for apparently hating all women (misogyny). This is a great privilege. Of course, women being jokey and/or suggestive/downright rude with men is fine - because they are 'oppressed'.

5) Men have scrotums but should not spread their legs on public transport to ease discomfort. This is 'manspreading'. Women, meanwhile can continue to hog adjacent seats with leg spreading, shopping and handbags, etc - even put their feet up. No problem. As my growing list here shows all too clearly, this is because they are 'oppressed'.

6) Men get less money spent on their health issues than women.

7) Men should 'man-up' and be strong when stressed and not be 'man babies'.

8) Men work longer hours than women in general and, as mentioned before, do the vast majority of dangerous/dirty work. But I know feminists and 'dog whistle' politicians and the trendy media will always go on about a 'gender pay gap' as though it is a problem brought about simply by men being paid more for the same work. Though even the Office For National Statistics debunks this. This is a real privilege.

9) I know that men are to blame for the imaginary 'glass ceiling' because of a tiny minority of men who opt to work crazy hours to become CEOs and outnumber women (who don't opt to work crazy hours) in those positions.

10) I know because feminists tell me so that masculinity is often 'toxic'.

11) I know that even though there are discriminatory all-women shortlists, etc, and that women are simply not opting for the job, that men are to blame for the lack of female MPs. Despite the fact that there are more women voters than men.

12) I know (thanks to MP Jess Phillips) that the male population of the UK should not expect its issues to be addressed in parliament until there are more female MPs. This surprises me as female MPs are often own-gender-adoring and own-gender-prioritising feminists, but if Jess Phillips says that the problems of everyday men will get an uncontested hearing when there are more female MPs, then it must be so, eh?

13) I'm privileged because there is no Minister for Men and Boys in the UK Parliament. And no plans for one. Ever.

UK Prime Minister Theresa May is a prime example of the self-interest and over-identification with their own gender that women in power often tend to have. Men are privileged to have her in power.

14) Men and their children are privileged by the severe lack of domestic violence shelters for them, despite the fact that official statistics show that the current reporting of DM is 60/40% female/male. Children and spouses of abusive women must simply 'man up'. Women, of course, are always believed and catered for - even ahead of children - because they are 'oppressed'. This is a privilege that men abused by their partners share with their children and is one of the most wonderful privileges in the 21st Century UK.

15) I am privileged to know that it can be terribly stressful and disappointing for women to discover that they are expecting a 'beastly' male baby.

16) I'm privileged because my national broadcaster, the BBC, is a hate organisation. It broadcasts programmes like Panorama: Can Violent Men Change? when it is known reported domestic violence incidents currently stand at 60/40% female/male and that men have difficulties in reporting due to lack of support - and the skewed attitude of the legal system in the UK. The BBC, thanks to female and male ideologue staff and 'White Knight' males, bows at the altar of a highly flawed ideology. Its name? Feminism.

17) I'm privileged because far more men commit suicide than women.

18) I'm privileged to belong to a sex which is quite happy to let its gender-mates go hang to appease feminists.

19) I'm privileged that women are favoured with women only shortlists, etc, when it comes to obtaining prestigious jobs. This produces women in charge like Dany Cotton, the head of the London Fire Brigade, who wants the word 'men' erased from 'firemen' and calls her male colleagues 'hairy-arsed'.

Sexist Dany Cotton got her job through women-favouring and calls her male colleagues in the London Fire Brigade 'hairy arsed'. She thinks people with vaginas are better.

20) I'm privileged that 'charities' like Oxfam and Shelter spends lots of donated money on feminist causes and feminist propaganda, despite the fact that poverty/famine knows no gender divide and that the vast majority of homeless people are men.

21) I'm privileged that I could face prison if accused of abuse by a woman. Proof? Less and less needed. Oh, glee!

You see? Ain't being a male grand? As for 'historical oppression', well I'm sure my great-great grandmother wouldn't have swapped jobs with my great-great grandfather for quids.

The human race is probably one of the least intelligent races on the planet, judging by attitudes towards feminism. Perhaps, as Victoria Wood said, we should remember that most of us arrive in this world via a hole very near someone's bum. And that no gender is sainted or worthy of chivalry.